Say my name, say my name...

Today I learned who "the man" is. Who the man is at Netflix at least. You see, I am now convinced there is a man (or a lady) (or the little boy from The Shinning) that sits in an office at Netflix somewhere. Their job is to review your que. To see what you have on deck and from time to time hit you up with an oddball combo. You know what I mean...you get Spaceballs and Balls of Fury. Or you get Redneck Zombie Massacre in the same mail delivery as Barbie in Mermadia. The ironic combo. Or, in some cases, the embarrassing combo of films you want but didn't expect to get in the same week.

Now I enjoy Netflix, don't get me wrong. I just think that someone is toying with me, or the horror Gods are in alignment: as today I received both My Name is Bruce and His Name was Jason. both films I have been waiting to see, but was not expecting to get together. Could there really be a small boy, rabid robot dog, or computer program fucking with my que?? That ain't nothing nice. But, I will be enjoying watching these two horror giants. Jason and Bruce. Maybe one day they could battle each other. With the winner taking on "the man" at Netflix.

He would not run...

What would Jason do? What would he do if he found out that Marcus Nispel was remaking him. What would Kane Hodder do if he found out Derek Mears was playing him? What will Michael Bay do when he runs out of major horror properties to remake?

All of these questions will be answered with time. While I wait patiently at the dock of crystal lake like the rest of us for this new re-launch--I wonder--"this is still just theater fluff, right?" This, and the countless remakes before it are what we call theater fodder. Movies for teens and old school horror junkies like myself to maybe catch in the theatre--more likely to catch on DVD. But the real horror is out there. unfortunately, this Winter it is not in the theatre.

I will see the new Jason--for entertainment. More than likely on DVD. Maybe even Cupid will get me the what would Jason do t-shirt I've always wanted. The preview looks neat-- I like the burlap sack look....I like the atmosphere....and I like the director. Marcus Nispel did a yeoman's job with the Texas Chainsaw re-launch.

There is one issue I will take before seeing the film: HE WOULD NOT RUN. There is a rather cool, jaw-drop inducing "Jason running" scene in the preview. I myself at first was even all like "holy shit, that's cool." but....he would not run. Jason was a slug. A meat head. A drowned hydrocephalus head- soggy- bulky- behemoth. He would not run. This is the one scene that looks to be making him into more of a video game killer. Let's hope this is not the case.

What I will do is enjoy the show. But- let us not forget, the real horror films that are out there (just maybe not in theatres). Like MARTYRS. LET THE RIGHT ONE IN. In October- THE BOX. OFFSPRING. And many many others. The New Friday the 13th is our theatre horror fair for this month. Most of us will not run, but drive to the video store to see the angry Voorhees boy.